How to save your marriage – 1st problem

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Any marital relationship is like a blissful fable in the first 3 months of marriage. Once the honeymooning is over and once individuals have explored their bodies & mind enough - it is time to face the reality. Looks doesn’t attract anymore, neither the personality. You start hating few things you had initially loved in that person.

For instance, if a girl had told her hubby that she admires the way he cares for his mom, the same might create problems in the near future, as the wife would start thinking that he cares about her mom more than her! This is the foremost problem most couples face.

There is an intense competition, on the subconscious mind, between your mom & your wife about who has stronger hold on you! Mom would say that you have become henpecked after marriage & wife would ask, “why can’t you use your own sense to decipher life’s meanings? Why do you want to discuss everything with your mom?” This is the first problem men face in their initial part of married life. He is literally tossed between 2 women, and in this situation he is completely confused about which side to take. And if the man has few sisters too, then I am sure men are tossed even more.

The best decision you could take at this juncture is to set your priority list of people. Is it in this order - mother, father, wife & children or is it wife, mother, father & children so on so forth. But once you have listed it down, stick to it and make it clear to everyone. You will fail miserably if you thought you would stick to justice, because the problems would have risen from a TV mega serial, where in you cannot have enough evidence to base your judgment. Also never try to make everyone happy.

Stop talking & become a good listener. Listen to the allegations made by your wife about your mom, and also listen to what your mom has to complain about your wife – not in the same room of course. Listen carefully as if it is changing your perception about them, then dress up and go for a stroll. Both of them would feel light as you have taken enough garbage out of them, and the stroll you took would have unburdened yourself. It is similar to the process of throwing garbage in the street dustbin. Keeping it at home will only make the place stink.

Few things you should avoid is – don’t give your personal opinions to any of them on any issues they fought about, don’t call them for a debate so that you can be a judge, don’t yell at anyone in front of each other.

Ideally become a rock & behave like a God. May be that is the reason, why Gods in the world are mostly made of rocks, where in they just listen to your woes & never reply.

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This page contains a single entry by kenni published on December 11, 2004 6:24 AM.

How to save your marriage – Part 1 was the previous entry in this blog.

Crack the GMI syndrome! is the next entry in this blog.

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