In schools, in colleges & at office place - I have had many friends who were girls. I always tried to be good to them, and they were good to me too. But if I were to ask myself if I had never thought about them sexually - then I probably would be lying. I envied all those mixed groups comprising of both guys & girls who existed just as friends or at least portrayed themselves as being ‘JUST’ friends. I wasn’t sure if I was the only guy who had this problem with genders. It is similar to a situation, when you start masturbating in your teens and you think you are the only person in the world to have helped yourself!
There is a major difference between how men & women deal with a friendly relationship. Women are much more focused and know exactly about what they want in their lives very early in their lives. And men are the one’s who traverse through their lives always with an open option. There isn’t any major difference in the way a woman behaves with a friend who is a girl or with a friend who is a boy. They remain the same all through. But men are different when they deal their friends – both boy & girl.
With guys, men are most of the times dirty, use hell lot of foul language, and would comment on all the forbidden parts of every woman who pass by. At the same time if a guy is with his friend who is a girl, he would be extra sober, more caring, and would remain extra conscious about touching her. That doesn’t mean men & women don’t share sex jokes or don’t talk about sexual subjects – but then the way they present themselves has a massive difference.
Here is a conversation from the English movie ‘When Harry Met Sally’, which supports my views about why a boy and a girl can never remain just ‘best’ friends! Harry is the guy, and Sally the girl!
Harry: What? Can't a man say a woman is attractive without it being a come-on? All right, all right. Let's just say, just for the sake of argument, that it was a come-on. What do you want me to do about it? I take it back, OK? I take it back.
Sally: You can't take it back.
Harry: Why not?
Sally: Because it's already out there.
Harry: Oh jeez. What are we supposed to do? Call the cops? It's already out there!
Sally: Just let it lie, OK?
Harry: Great! Let it lie. That's my policy. (They get into the car.) That's what I always say. Let it lie. Want to spend the night in a motel? (She glares at him.) You see what I did? I didn't let it lie.
Sally: Harry -
Harry: I said I would and I didn't...I went the other way...What?
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not gonna be friends, then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.
To be continued….Will put some real life incidents in Part 2!