October 2005 Archives

Askenni’s wishes for you!

Askenni.com wishes every 'Indian' living in India, and also abroad a very Happy and safe Diwali! Have Fun!

Final – The blog I write out of mere hatred and shame!

Moving your files in a government office is similar to the process of training your dog. I don’t know how many of you have tried your hands at that. But it involves the same philosophy. Your dog won’t give you a shit when you call it to get trained. Here is the tip - take a Marie biscuit, and break it into 6 smaller pieces. Now throw one of the pieces to your dog. It will get up, eat it, stretch a bit, wag its tail, and come to you for more. Now push its back down, and say sit. When it is in a sitting posture, give another piece. It will stand up for another piece. Now push the back again, say sit, and give the 3rd piece. Now the 4th time, don’t push the back. Say sit and it will sit, and you give the 4th piece. So you have trained your dog to sit using ¾ of the biscuit. The same is true with government officials – the rule remains the same– thoda pheko thoda khilao (unlike the dialogue in Hindi movie Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron – thoda khao thoda pheko), and you can get your work done.

The blog I write out of mere hatred and shame - part 2

Finally we got our father’s death certificate, and tried submitting it to post office for the formalities to be completed for the transfer of pension to my mother’s name. They needed another certificate now – legal heirship certificate. What does that mean? It is a certificate that will confirm that the person who died was my father, and his wife was my mother, and that they had three children. And this certificate will be signed by three personals – the Village Administrative Officer, the Revenue Inspector and finally the Tahsildar!

The blog I write out of mere hatred and shame!

Wish I was Indian. I am not talking about the nationality that is conferred on any individual when he is born in a particular country – that too without his/her consent. In fact I wish I was movie maker Shankar’s depiction of Kamal Hasan in his movie Indian (Hindustani). If that was so I am sure I would have killed at least 3 government officials in the past 30 days! Or wish I was at least Shankar’s Anniyan – few would have died getting roasted in the boiling oil. Well I am a normal human being who gets defeated at the hands of the mighty and corrupt Indian government officials!

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