Rule 1 - I am NOT FREE
For heaven's sake I DON'T provide my astrological services for FREE. All my services with their respective charges are showcased on my website - kindly go through the same before dropping me a mail at firstname.lastname@example.org
Don't even try your luck for a free reading.
Always drop me a mail at email@example.com about what exactly you are looking for before making any payment. It solves 90 per cent of the confusion.
Rule 3 - Mail Exact Birth Details
The predictions will be done based on the date, place, and time of birth provided by you. Once the report is sent, kindly don't come back to me with a new birth detail and expect me to do a new reading for the fee you paid for the earlier details. Reading for any new birth details will be charged.
Rule 4 - Get Birth Details Corrected
If you have any confusion regarding your birth details, drop me a mail at firstname.lastname@example.org There are astrological ways to narrow down on your exact birth details.
Rule 5 - Refund Policy
100 per cent cash refund will be made to you if my predictions don't come right for you provided the birth details are approved by me before you go in for any of my astrological services.
Rule 6 - Know What To Talk
I mention them all in your report but then I don't discuss astrological rules and astrological jargons with anyone. The day will come, when I might pass on everything I know to someone who deserves. Hence kindly don't try to let me know about how much astrology you know. It pisses me off completely.
Rule 7 - Astrologers Need Not Consult Me
You need not consult me if you are an astrologer yourself. If you still want to consult me - ask just plain questions - nothing more and nothing less.
Rule 8 - Buzz Me Only If It Is Important
I am online on yahoo messenger the whole day to help people. Don't think I am online because I don't have anything else to do in life. So buzz me only if it is really important.
Never ask me - so Kennedi, how will be my day today? I will block you immediately.
Rule 9 - Mail Works Better
If you already are my client, and need some clarification - always mail me at email@example.com. It is easier for me that way.
Rule 10 - Never Throw Your Attitude
You might be rich. You might be a celebrity. You might be running a multi crore business. You could be an MD, VP, CEO, COO. And you could be a NRI too. But for me you are just a client. My charges are same for you and also a local auto driver. So better try not to throw your attitude.
Rule 11 - Respect
I will respect you, only if you respect my profession and me first.
Rule 12 - Never Bargain With Me
I am neither a Marwadi, nor do I think I am running a business. So please keep the 'fee' part clear and clean and kindly don't bargain. BSNL doesn't give me free Internet connection, my landlord doesn't give me free place to live, and the grocery guy never reduces the VAT - just because I am an astrologer.
Rule 13 - Do Not Waste My Time
All my services are linked from 'My Services' section showcased on the right hand side of my website - take your time to go through them. They all are self-explanatory. The details about what you will get under a particular service along with their respective charges have been showcased clearly for transparency. The charges are in USDs and if you want to know the fees in INR - you can just apply the present day conversion rates for the same. Mail me your doubts ONLY after you are convinced with me, my services and their respective charges. Value my time and effort, and I will value yours always.
Rule 14 - Relationship Revival Fees
Unfortunately if my predictions have not come right for you and you have taken a refund from me, then it simply means that you are 'DEAD' to me. You need not connect to me or consult me till I die - as there is no need to. But it is very much possible that in life you end up with fakes and cheats who sell you expensive Gems and Yantras. With time you might realize that I was far better than those fuckers you consulted and come back to me. In that case there would be a 'NON-REFUNDABLE' fee to revive the relationship with me. It is USDs 1600 (Rs 1,00,000 INR) as on date - this is excluding the service charges.
New rules will be added as and when I have new experiences.
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