Recently in Humour Category

Indians' incapability to follow a simple instruction!

I am sorry, but I am kind of amazed at literate people's incapability to understand and follow an instruction as simple as this one -

'Share this video on Facebook/Twitter/Linkedin and mail me your Ascendant (Lagna) to kennedig@yahoo.com to get Free 2016 Jupiter Transit General Predictions.'

With my limited intelligence I think the above statement means -

If it matters...

'What's the point knowing the future, when things are going to happen anyway?' Asked a shopkeeper, very well knowing that I was an astrologer.

One regret I have

I was an intern with The Statesman, New Delhi in 1996. And as a young journalist I was covering all those boring news beats and dry press conferences. Being a bit apathetic towards my boring existence my Chief Reporter gave me the opportunity to cover the opening ceremony of Surajkund Mela. (It is an annual fair, and according to wikipedia in the year 2015 this fair was visited by 1.2 million visitors including 160,000 foreigners from more than 20 countries participating in it.)

Cheating - the Chinese way

Fleecing the tourists is an age old phenomenon - I think it should be as old as civilization itself. And if there is any award to be given, then it surely will go to the Indians as they take a lot of pride in cheating their own countrymen let alone tourists. Well this happened in Hong Kong a couple of years back when my close friend was desperately looking to buy a HTC mobile phone.

I never knew this part existed!

There is a thought provoking scene in the movie '3 idiots' where Madhavan and Sharman Joshi are worried about Aamir Khan's exam results. And when they find Aamir topping the class instead of flunking - their worries get transformed into unhappiness. It looks funny on the silver screen, but when it happens in real life - it changes your perspective about life forever!

What nonsense?!

I was brimming with excitement. Not many have trusted me so much that they call me to do a puja at their home. I got up at 4 am religiously, meditated for couple of hours, and was all set to leave my house at 6 am as the house warming ceremony was scheduled by me at 7 am. My friend wasn't a believer of astrology till he met me. A couple of right predictions from my end - and he got transformed into a firm believer. Having immense faith in me he called me to perform the house warming puja at his house, where he had newly moved in.

My 15 years of pain.....

I don't know if facebook has helped anyone to be become friendlier in life but then it surely has succeeded in converting many unhappy souls into upcoming philosophers. 'Pain isn't real.. it is all in the mind.' 'Pain is the stepping stone towards success.' 'Be bold to accept pain.' And the mother of all pain philosophies which is shared on FB is -'No Gain Without Pain.' To negate all these nonsensical mind over matter talks there is a beautiful proverb in the age-old-literature-rich-Tamil language, which profoundly says - 'muttai idure vaaathukuthaan su**** vazhi theriyum'. In English it would mean - only an egg-laying duck understands the pain in the ass.

Why astrology is a 'sinking' business!

I happen to meet one of my friends/clients who is a financial expert in one of the international banks. He casually asked me, "so Kenni, what is your target for the next 6 months." I asked him innocently, "what target?" "The revenue target in the next 6 months?" he explained. I replied, "none." For a while he thought I was joking. But I wasn't. I said, "I don't have any revenue targets, not because I don't want to, but because I cannot have one."

I 'try' not to repeat mistakes!

I have been blessed with a photographic memory, and I have always been proud of it. I never forget faces, and I don't forget people's destiny patterns. Well if I am pathetic in something then it is the sense of direction. I cannot remember the way to a particular place until and unless I am guided a least 10 times - that too by the same route. If you use a short cut to reach the same place, then I will consider that as a new route!

The art of 'IGNORING'!

It is rightly said that 'with age and experience 'wisdom' automatically creeps in - even if you are a retard psychologically.' Those were the days, when I have spent 2 to 3 sleepless nights when some stranger sent me a hate mail or some jobless desperate woman called me a cheat on Yahoo Messenger without revealing her identity. Looking back, I can only smile at my ignorance and the way I handled the situation!

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