I am learning Arabic for a reason

I started driving car in the year 2007 and since then I don’t remember a single day that I haven’t driven without swearing at idiots on the road. Back in the day while riding bikes with helmet on I could not afford to curse as there are no windows and doors on bikes. I ‘think’ in Hindi, as I was brought up in Mumbai most of my life so I curse in Hindi. But then it is strange that while residing in Chennai I used to use Tamil (my mother tongue) to swear and rest of India I swear in Hindi. It is a major catharsis exercise for me and I feel a lot better after using the nastiest words for fellow human beings – or else I am sure I would have died of heart attack long back. You indeed cannot take shit after a while. Ma****t, Behen****, Ma ka****b***a, Ma k***c****, Chu**** those words came out of my mouth like music for all these years without any problem but I am worried now. My 2 1/2 year old son is picking them up very fast – he has started off with Ma…..t!! I cannot stop abusing and still remain happy, and I don’t want my son to use profanity at this tender age. I discussed the problem with a friend of mine and she said, instead of Ma ki ch*****try saying Ma ki aankh, instead of oh fuck say oh fish…instead of behenc***** say behenji and ma****t say maaji!! I said, what kind of joke is this. I am not feeling any better calling an idiot behenji or maaji!!! It has no power in it. 

I had to find an alternative where in everyone wins. Hence I thought of googling for few abusive words in Arabic, wherein I feel good saying it, and also if my son by chance uses it in public – none understands it. Here are few words I am going to use for idiots on roads from now – 

Tozz Feek
Kol Khara
Ya Ibn el Sharmouta
Telhas Teeze 
Ayreh Feek 
Ya Shar-Moo-Ta
Kess Ommak 

Which essential means – damn blind, screw off, eat shit, son of a bitch, kiss my ass, fuck you, you bitch, your mom’s *@#₹₹& – in the given order! 

Wow…I feel far better now.

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