Why I keep my car dirty from outside, deliberately

A lot of people below the poverty line in India think that cars drop from the heavens for most people. They fail to understand that people have to slog their asses off to posses one, if not the present generation then at least the previous generation would have bled from their asses for their children to have the luxury. I still remember my father telling me that he had only one school uniform, which he used to wash and wear every two days and had to walk 10 kms everyday to school. And this way he completed his schooling followed by his engineering solely on the basis of merit. He never owned a car in his life, but I do. 

Sometimes when I wait in my car at any crowded place – like a market, bazaar or outside temples – I see human beings least bothered about the car’s exteriors. They just walk so close that by default their bangles/watch/bag-zipper scratch the car. 100 women dressed in their best sarees jay walking, and you have 100 scratches already. And on top of that, they turn back and give me a nasty look – as if it was my fault! It wasn’t happening for me. 

I have sometimes got stuck amongst herds of cows, buffaloes, goats and sheep – and to be honest, they have never touched my car. They maintained a safe distance and the max what touched my vehicle was their wagging tails. Next time you insult a human by calling him/her a buffalo – please know that buffaloes have more civic sense than humans in India. 

And then when I parked outside any restaurant or hotels or fast food centres, I have noticed many assholes just leaning on my car and sipping their hot coffee. Their body language would portray as if, they have paid half of my fucking EMIs. And when I approach my car they will move thinking – “uff, why did he come so early? Now I have to move.” No sign of regret or remorse, whatsoever could I sense! You are left completely helpless – you cannot fight, you cannot argue, you cannot hit, you cannot throw boiling hot water on these illiterates and literates. And your cold stares is of no value. 

The only idea that struck my bird brains with limited intelligence was – never clean the car from the outside. Keep it as dirty as possible and let us see what happens. And it worked. Looking at the dust, women maintain a safe distance from the car for the simple reason that their sarees will get dirty – which they hate. None leans on the car to sip their beverages anymore. If they lean, they might end up cleaning my car. And the bonus is – none scratches your car with a key thinking ‘this car might belong to some poor man.’ 

Poverty indeed wins in India.

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