Love, violence, dominance, territorialism – they are innate in all animals, but ‘insult’ is distinctive to humans. So far I haven’t come across any literature that proves the existence of the concept of ‘insult’ amongst the animal clan. Humans are so special to experience it by fellow beings and also to exist in a position to try it on others.
If you are born a human, you ought to experience insult at least once or many a times continually in the journey of your life. Strangers, family members, relatives, colleagues, bosses, friends, children, spouse – you name them and they are waiting for an opportunity to put you down without an iota of remorse.
Of course there are many self help books, motivational talks and spiritual philosophies that tries to guide you about how to handle an insult efficiently. Most would say – forget and move ahead, some would say – forgive and focus on the future, and a few would say try to ignore it completely. But none of them helps a mortal much because the more you try to let go, the more you fail. The truth being that an insult eats you from the inside and leaves a permanent scar on your being, absolutely changing your future course of action and reciprocation in dealing with other human beings. But then it can undeniably teach you many lessons depending upon how you process the sick feeling, and in how much time.
Instead of focussing on how to forget or forgive an insult, or blame and abuse the person who brought it on you, the next time you are put in a similar position just step back for a moment and ask yourself a simple question – ‘why do you think you were insulted?’
Humans unfortunately find orgasmic pleasure in establishing their dominance on another human being by default. Caste dominance, race dominance, colour dominance, power dominance, status dominance, intellectual dominance – they all exist and they will continue to exist for eternity. You cannot eradicate them from the face of the earth, but then there is a way to play it safe and to prove your worth.
“Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” – if you still believe in that crap then may God bless you, and you can stop reading further. There is always a standard for ‘beauty’ in a particular culture/land mass and God deliberately doesn’t create everyone good-looking by those standards. So the first step for you is to stand in front of the mirror and stare at yourself and rate your looks on a scale of 10 (where 1 is bad and 10 is excellent). Once you are done with the rating – etch that number in your soul, mind and heart and from now you will never forget that number. And always remember that a person whose score is higher than you will be respected more and insulted less than you, and the person whose score is less than you will be less respected and insulted more than you.
(Please don’t ask your parents, siblings, spouse and relatives to rate you for God’s sake – they are going to lie for sure)
If you are lucky enough to get an 8 or above in the self-assessment test, then consider yourself fortunate. You just need to look clean, wear any unbranded clothes and accessories – people still will think that you are wearing something they cannot afford. This is similar to the situation where in a poor foreigner from the West visits India, Indians still think he is rich and are always in the process of celebrating his presence.
If your self-assessment gets you points anywhere between 4 and 7 – you better get ready to work a bit harder. Hit the gym, keep yourself fit and try to maintain clean looks. Get a decent hair-cut, wear spectacles that are expensive if you wear one of-course. And wear branded clothes in sync with the latest trends – even if you have to beg, borrow or steal. Your bank balance is visible to none until and unless you show that to them, but then a well-dressed man is always perceived as rich, powerful and successful. And no human messes around with people who look rich, powerful and successful.
Unfortunately, if your self-assessment gets you a number between 1 and 3, then may God bless you. Even if you spend a fortune on your clothing and accessories, people might think you stole it from somewhere or someone donated it to you. And of course there are humans who will look at you and curse the God saying, “what sin did I commit that this idiot has got things, which I don’t.”
So to avoid that – work on a skill or talent only you could master, respect will follow irrefutably. The importance of looks will go for a toss when you have the ability to do certain things that 99 per cent of mediocre cannot. And if you are unfortunate to develop a skill or talent in this life – please pray to God for a better life next time.
Jokes are meant for family members and close friends, don’t behave like a clown amidst strangers, colleagues, and bosses. They all will laugh at your well timed jokes, but in the process will make you a laughing stock. Talk less, have a straight face, smile less, laugh less, and interact less – these attributes will get you more respect than anything else in the world. Remember once a wise man said, “it is better to be feared than loved.”
Never reveal your future plans or real feelings, or confess to anyone except to a Roman Catholic priest. Be as mysterious as possible to fellow human beings and they will get attracted to you just out of sheer curiosity. And once they start to interact with you, follow step 3 religiously.
When you are old and haggard and have nothing to look forward to in life. It is quite obvious that you won’t be respected by family members, friends, colleagues and even the cylinder delivery guy. Your branded clothes will have no value whatsoever in gaining the expected respect. In that case, always give ‘cash’ to quench the thirst of the greedy mankind. If the cylinder guy asks for Rs.30 as corruption fee to deliver the cylinder, pay him Rs.50 and see how he behaves the next time he visits your house.
Whether you donate to charities or do any philanthropist activities, just make it a point to advertise about the same. People interacting with you should always be aware that you have a very kind heart and that you give away money just like that. People will force themselves to respect you in the hope that you might shower your blessing on them someday soon.
Keep in mind that respect is the opposite word of insult. So the more attributes you add to yourself that brings you more respect, the lesser the chances of you getting insulted by anyone, anytime.