I yelled at my wife! 

Our JBL speakers’ remote control stopped working one fine day, and we didn’t drop it I swear. We got it just 8 months back and I was pretty sure it was still under warranty. After collecting the bills and tax receipts, my wife called the JBL customer care to complain about the problem, and the first thing the lady on the other side mentioned was, “remote control has no warranty.” “Is that mentioned in the receipts or the warranty card or manual?” My wife enquired. “No, it is not mentioned anywhere but still the remote control has no warranty,” the customer care personnel replied. “So what should we do now?” Asked my wife. “You need to raise a complaint and the service centre guy will get in touch with you. You need to buy a new one,” replied the customer care lady. “How much will it cost?” Asked my wife. “The service guy will know it,” replied the lady blatantly. “Anything else you want us to help you with”? The lady asked. My wife said, “nothing else as of now.” 

The complaint was raised and the service centre guy got in touch with us. “How much will the new remote control cost?” Asked my wife. “Visiting charges Rs 300 and Rs 380 for the new remote,” answered the JBL service guy. I was like, “if he sends the remote by courier it will cost Rs 50. Why would he want to visit and then give a new one?” Well that is the process it seems. 

I was doing my yoga and someone whispered into my ears. It could have been lord Shiva or Allah or may be Jesus Christ himself, I am not sure but the voice said, “go check the batteries.” My wife had replaced the old batteries with the new one just 4 days back but then the inner voice was insistent. “Go check the batteries,” it commanded. 

I went and opened the remote control and my wife had put the batteries in reverse. I rearranged the positions and by God’s grace the remote worked. And I yelled at my wife for being irresponsible. 

The lessons learnt from this episode were –

– remote controls don’t have warranty

– any international brand that comes down to any third world country like India, they behave like assholes

– whatever international brands you buy in India, if something goes wrong with your product you finally need to deal with Indian dickheads sitting in customer care

– International brands behave and deal with their customers differently in different countries. In UAE, Saudi Arabia, UK, US – they will be good with their customers and in countries like India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka – they will behave like assholes.

Well my expense will only be Rs 25 now (instead of Rs. 680) I will visit a temple and break a coconut for the Gods for being kind to me. My remote is working and I need not deal with clueless retards anymore.

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