This year Maha Shivrathri was on March 8, 2024, and this blog sadly comes a bit late; but I presume that it will at least be helpful for the readers next year.
Should you sit upright or can you lie down on Maha Shivrathri? This particular question was posed to two different monetarily successful spiritual Gurus of India recently, which I got to watch on some reels. One replied, “the energies are moving upwards on this auspicious day so you should not lie down.” And the other replied, “Lord Narayana is seen lying down, so there is no harm in lying down after meditation. It is good.” And honestly my blood rushed to my head, and I could not lie down – hence the blog.
In fact, the right thing to do on any Maha Shivrathri is find a water body – swimming pool, river, lake, sea or some waterfall – and drown yourself for 6 minutes under water. If you come out alive, you would have attained ‘nirvana’ (spiritually grown completely), and if not you will meet up with Lord Shiva in person and you can yourself ask him this stupid question directly, ‘should you sit upright or can you lie down on Maha Shivrathri’?
What if I ask Hollywood actor Tom Cruise to follow my instruction? Will he stay alive under water for 6 minutes? Yes, he will. And he has done it before, and it is NOT possible by everyone. Similarly you dumb fucks – not everything is possible by everyone. Spiritual growth is NOT for everyone as these idiotic spiritual gurus preach to their educated, literate ignorant disciples.
Imagine I sit upright or lie down on a particular Maha Shivrathri, and the next day with all the energy rising upwards, downwards and sideways, I am to bat in an international cricket match and our Pakistani super hero the Rawalpindi Express Shoaib Akhtar takes the run up. Will I be able to hit a six like Sachin Tendulkar (who practised for decades getting up at 4 am every single day) just because I kept myself awake and kept chanting Om Namo Shivaya? The idiots will say, yes – but then it will be Astrologer Kennedi Gopalan who broke his head by a nasty bouncer.
How is that mortals start to think that to achieve everything else in life – such as a good career, money, wealth, fame, Green card, foreign settlement – you need education, practice, dedication, and only for spiritual growth you just don’t require any qualification? Just go find an ashram, watch a spiritual guru dance in the night, close your eyes, and Lord Shiva will appear in front of you. This is a clear example of blasphemy against the God himself.
Moreover majority of the people who assemble to stay awake on this day, aren’t seeking spiritual growth per se they are there to have a good time. Celebs are least bothered about any kundalini awakening, they are praying for more money and more fame. The businessman is praying for increase in turnover, the unmarried are praying to find a perfect match, and the married are praying that their trip to Thailand should never be uncovered.
So on a day when spiritual growth is possible for a selected few, why waste it by asking God for something which was not part of the parcel on the first place? You don’t burst crackers on Holi for God’s sake.
If you are born for spiritual growth, your life would carve itself in a way that facilitates your meeting with the divine. It cannot happen that all your life you wanted to become a CEO and you became one, and one fine day you had a fight with your investor, went to an ashram on a Maha Shivrathri and stayed awake (sitting, lying or upside down whatever) and you became spiritually awakened! Do not insult the process of divinity just because it is advertised wrongly by spiritual gurus.
If your prayers are answered by offering one flower garland, breaking one coconut, and lighting two agarbathies then stick to that. Leave the esoteric to the professionals.