I had a conversation recently with a 32-year-old bachelor—not a client, just someone I know well. He’s the kind of guy who ticks many of the right boxes.
He’s an MCA graduate, working with a reputed MNC, making a respectable income. He drinks occasionally, doesn’t smoke, has no Vimal pan masala addiction, and—this is worth mentioning in today’s cultural shorthand—he’s never been to Bangkok.
More importantly, he’s a proud son and a loving brother. He chose to live in India so he could stay close to his aging parents, and he even took a loan to help fund his sister’s wedding. In most ways, he’s the poster boy for a “good match.”
Naturally, the conversation turned to his marriage—or rather, the lack of it.
In India, especially in arranged marriages, there are a few traditional checkpoints that most families look at—what I call the Three Cs:
1. Caste
2. Chart (Horoscope)
3. Cash (salary/income)
If the caste aligns, they look at the horoscope. If the stars are in agreement, the next thing on the list is the payslip.
But wait—there’s a fourth ‘C’ now that’s increasingly become a deal-breaker:
California.
(Or, more broadly, The United States of America.)
If a man is seeking an educated, urban bride, then the expectations go a step further. The girl—or her family—asks:
• “Is he working in the US?”
• “Does he have a green card?”
• “Is he at least planning to go to the US?”
If the answer is no, that’s often the end of the story. No second conversation. No further inquiries. Sometimes, they block the guy’s number immediately after the call.
My acquaintance passed the first three filters. He was hopeful. He spoke to a couple of prospective brides. They chatted, they laughed, they even connected. But once he mentioned that he had no plans of moving to the US, it was radio silence.
It’s strange how things have shifted. Not too long ago, the man with a steady job and family values was the dream. Now, it seems, unless you have a boarding pass to JFK, you’re out of the race.
Women have evolved, yes. Smarter, sharper, and more self-assured. But somewhere along the way, even marriage has become a checklist of visa potential.
After that conversation, I just leaned back and smiled. And silently blessed my stars.
God has always been kind to me. Always gave me what I needed. And often, with surplus. 😉