Marriage, in its essence, was once a sacred institution — a man and a woman coming together to build a home, raise children, and contribute to a larger social and spiritual order. It was a union rooted in shared responsibilities, societal roles, and a deeper understanding of life’s continuity through family.
But times have changed.
Today, we live in a world of individual dreams, career ambitions, and personal freedom. The modern, well-educated man and woman no longer marry to complete each other — they are already complete by themselves. And so, what often emerges is not a union in the traditional sense, but an arrangement. A cohabitation. A negotiation. Two people sharing a roof, expenses, and maybe even children — but not necessarily purpose, alignment, or happiness.
This isn’t to say modern marriages are wrong. They are simply different. But what is problematic is when we continue to mimic the rituals of the past without understanding their context. We dress in silks, chant age-old mantras, circle the fire, and declare eternal love — only to return to our individualistic lives, driven by goals that rarely converge.
Many modern couples are emotionally distant, physically present but mentally elsewhere. In the name of marriage, what we often see is an association of convenience — a business partnership of sorts. And in this setup, nobody really wins.
• The man feels caged by expectations.
• The woman feels unseen and unfulfilled.
• And the children? They grow up witnessing silent meals, passive-aggressive silences, and a version of “love” that feels transactional.
So what went wrong?
The problem is not marriage. The problem is the disconnect between the purpose of marriage and the life we live today. Marriage was never designed for two people chasing parallel ambitions without a meeting point. It was meant to be a convergence — of values, goals, sacrifices, and souls.
And until we either redefine marriage or choose to enter it with awareness, we will continue this cycle of imitation — performing rituals that don’t match our reality and calling it tradition.
Maybe it’s time to ask ourselves — do we want a marriage or just a comfortable arrangement? One sounds like work, the other sounds easier. But only one nurtures the human spirit across generations.