I see a lot of posts by the modern crowd on social media complaining about marriage ceremonies. They say weddings are a waste of money—where you invite relatives who simply come, eat, and leave. Instead, they suggest saving the money and doing a small registered marriage with just a few close friends.
And of course, the internet applauds their “wise decision.”
But let us travel back in time.
Human beings are social animals. For thousands of years we lived in communities. We hunted together, lived together, and ate together. In those early societies there was hardly the kind of economic hierarchy we see today—no extreme rich, no extreme poor.
Marriage in those times was not merely a private agreement between two individuals. It was a public announcement to the community. It told everyone that this woman and this man had chosen each other and that their union should be respected. It was also a declaration that the couple intended to build a family within that community.
Marriage, therefore, was not just the responsibility of the parents. It was the responsibility of the entire community.
The labour that today we pay for—food, decorations, seating arrangements, cooking—once came through collective participation. People contributed whatever they could. Some brought food. Some brought flowers. Some brought metal vessels or tools. It was a social event where everyone’s participation made the ceremony possible.
This is precisely why the tradition of bringing gifts or giving money to the couple still exists today. It is a faint memory of that old communal system of support.
So when people say, “Relatives just come, eat, and go,” it sounds rather dismissive.
If you ever meet with an accident and land in a hospital, see who arrives first. It will rarely be a social media follower or a casual friend. More often than not, it will be a relative.
Do we really believe that people attend weddings just for one free meal? As if they have no food at home? As if that one plate of food will sustain them for the rest of their lives?
Of course, everyone has the right to choose how they want to marry—whether through a grand ceremony or a simple registration. That is a personal decision.
But before dismissing traditions as meaningless, it is worth understanding the history and social purpose behind them. Marriage ceremonies were never merely about spectacle. They were born out of a time when community bonds were the very foundation of human survival.
And in many ways, they still are.