(I had written this particular blog in the year 2004 – https://gopalan.vesana.com/2004/05/lack-of-contraceptives-led-to-the-concept-of-marriage.html)
I pity those women who show a lackadaisical attitude towards getting married, thinking it is a lifelong bondage that could impinge on their freedom of existence. It could undoubtedly be said that the concept of MARRIAGE was introduced by men, who readily restrained themselves from their selfish desires to save women from the burdens of life.
FLASHBACK
Human beings lived in communities, and free sex was the only religion they followed. Any man could lay with any woman, sometimes with her consent and sometimes without her consent (rape wasn’t illegal then, but was claimed to be one of the ways of having sex).
The lack of contraceptives led to easy conception, and a single woman could be seen with many children without knowing the right father. Osho Rajneesh, in one of his books, beautifully argues how the word ‘uncle’ came into existence much before the word ‘father’. All the men in the community were called uncles (not the exact word, though), as no one knew who their real father was. Even today, any stranger is called an uncle, which instantly brings in a relationship without much thought.
Later, in the community, it was seen that men had their fun screwing away every woman they met, while women were the ultimate sufferers, having to take care of their children. No man shared their responsibilities, as he was unsure about his progeny.
So someone in the community raised his voice. He said, enough of screwing around. Men should restrain themselves now and should share the women’s responsibilities. This led to major brainstorming sessions among intellectuals, and the following were the minutes of the meeting…
- One man should screw only one woman.
- If he gets attracted to other women, he should marry them too (this led to polygamy).
- The marriage will be a BIG public ceremony wherein all the people of the community will be called, so that all men now know that the woman is married. This was also a warning message to other men to keep their eyes off the married lady.
- The married man and woman will stay together and raise their children, and this will be called a family.
- The man will work outdoors and bring food, while the woman will raise the children. (This led to the economy.)
Thus came the concept of marriage. But there was another problem, which people faced later. As the community started growing, all could not be called for the marriage. And the men who didn’t attend the marriage never knew that a particular woman was married. They still went after their prey. It was high time the intellectuals got together for their second round of meeting. The following were decided in the meeting…
- A man will tie a thread around a woman’s neck so that others could know that she is married (this is the mangal sutra).
- A woman will put sindoor/bindi on her forehead (I will discuss the importance of bindi in my next article).
- She will also wear rings on her feet if men fail to see the mangal sutra.
PRESENT
Even today, married women stick to these things to prove that they are married, while a man is as free as ever — until and unless he opens his mouth and confesses. So, girls, if you still think marriage is a bondage and that you don’t want to get married, do let us know. Let us time travel and live in our flashbacks!